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"Make 'em buzz, and you can be a whiz the way your momma was...and not a Wallflower!"

My Dearest Glam-Pa

The teenage years are already starting to give me chest pains but not for the obvious reasons and this is why I’m coming to you.
My son turns 15 and goes into high school this year and the more I think about it the more pain and tightness I feel around my heart. I am truly afraid for my sons social well being. He is not the most social of kids. He has a small group of friends but mostly a home body like his daddy. I was fine with that up until now but this is HS! I want him to have a life. God dammit I want him to get a girl friend, first kiss, get laid even, ugh.... I can’t believe I just said that...
I LOVED HIGH SCHOOL and I know that I am one of the few that did. But being a social butterfly 🦋 like I am, made it easier. My son doesn’t even like talking to family members that he hasn’t talk to in years...
I don’t know what to do. I lay awake at night with anxiety pains in my chest and tears running down my face cause I’m afraid for his social future.
I know that having friends is not a necessity in life but I believe it’s and essential part of your teenage years. These are times where you can build long lasting friendships and learn how different and wonderful all people are. But he’s just not interested. I don’t know what to do.

Thanks in advance
Much love Glam-Pa

Momma of a wall flower





Dearest Momma,

May I suggest consulting with a physician? Xanax might be the answer to all your woes.
Your honesty is refreshing, and your passion and love for your son is palpable. Yay! Moving on.
As someone whose own dear sweet Mother tried to guide them away from clearly poor choices, I can tell you it rarely works. I can also testify to the fact that poor choices for one, are perfect choices for someone else.
Your experiences in HS sound wonderful, but despite my rocking ass and great wrack, were completely foreign to me. So, maybe I can give you a glimpse into the other side?
You say your son has a small group of friends. Have you ever heard the adage about how one is lucky if they have one true friend in the world? Maybe your son is giving himself exactly what he needs? Does he seem unhappy to you, or is he just doing things his way?
Offer him support and understanding, and accept that his journey is not yours and doesnt have to be to be a fulfillng and wonderful one. Offer options to the choices he makes if you like, but try not to make him feel bad about being a homebody. That's not necessarily a bad thing to be.
NO ONE escapes their childhood unscathed, and the reality of that I would imagine is nearly unbearable to a parent. You know, ducks kill their young to save them the pain of starvation. Don't fall into that trap.
You say he is like his Dad. Would it be so horrible if he grew up to be just like him? I grew into a carbon copy of my mother and while we bicker like, well, like my mother and her's did, I couldn't be prouder of who I am. Sometimes.

Also, I'm quite sure he will lose his virginity, dear. Maybe he'll even blossom into a carbon copy of you by sophmore year (just less of a whore)?

Google "Wallflower, The Rink" I think you'll enjoy,

xoxox
Glamps

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