Dear Glampa:  My husband's maternal grandmother has just turned 97. We have arranged a Zoom birthday party where we will all have our own cakes. It will also be Valentine's Day. Grinny recently asked if there would be sex in heaven. Would it be inappropriate to make a tasteful cock cake for the occasion? PS: my children will be present.  Sincerely, Consciously Curious Dearest CC,  Mmmmm,....cock.  Sorry, what was your question? Oh, yes! At 97, Grinny deserves any kind of cake that will bring her joy. Of course, the issue that some Puritan, repressed, mother fuckers will have is the kids.  If they know what the cake is, it’s time for “the talk.” If they don’t, just tell them it’s a rocket ship,...with veins.  Nothing wrong with a penis, especially if they happen to have one.