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Oh, Endora!

Hey, there Glamps!
I live down south and it’s so hot and buggy I want to DIE (or maybe just move to Canada).  Anyway, I’m in a bit of a pickle.  A red ant just crawled into my bra and feasted on my tit. My left boob is now red and welty and itchy. I really just want to be nekkid like the Good Lord intended me to be, but my house is infested with in-laws...11 to be exact.  How in the world do I balance being a good hostess with my need to self-care?

Love,

The Hostess with the Mostess

Dear Mostess!
Now, a swollen tittie is no laughing matter. I have it on good authority that Agnes Moorehead suffered from a similar fate on many occasion, (usually hers was an overzealous nipple lashing from a jealous lover. Aunt Hagatha hated to be played the fool, and Esmeralda had a pierced tongue. The rest i’ll leave up to your imagination.) Hence, we were gifted with the world’s most revered Muumuu.
As a zoftig queen myself, I cannot overstate my love for that green and purple piece of majesty.
So,... may I suggest, for help covering up various swollen nipplature, areol-ish regionality, or anything looking as if it is in need for an untimely burst, “Go, Endora!” and adorn yourself and your kitschiest muumuu!
Class it up with some cat eye glasses and a kitten heel. The In Laws will be in awe of your fashion sense, and never know the uncomfortable secrets that lie below.

Any time I can spread the wisdom of Bewitched, I am complete

Kisses and witchcraft
Glamp

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